Abandoned Ship On the Horizon – kill the farm boy (Delilah S. Dawson & Kevin Hearne)

Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this fantasy eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . .

kill the farm boy (Delilah S. Dawson & Kevin Hearne)

Title: kill the farm boy

Author: Delilah S. Dawson & Kevin Hearne

Publisher: Random House Publishing Group – Ballantine Del Ray

Publication Date: Tuesday, July 17, 2018!! (hardcover/e-book)

ISBN: 978-1524797744

Source: NetGalley

This be the third book in me e-Arc Extravaganza Challenge wherein I attempt to read 5 books before their July 17th release date.  Arrr!

I so wanted to like this book and here I be abandoning ship.  Sigh.  This book has a gorgeous cover and wonderful blurb.  The cover says it has puns.  I thought it was going to be a clever topsy-turvy take on fairy tales.  It had a few potentially fun characters like a talking goat and a bikini chain mail clad giantess but was too shallow in writing style to make me care about them.  I liked what happens to the Chosen One in the beginning and was curious how that would work out.  But the humor was certainly not to me taste and the plot was practically non-existent.  The jokes were basically all potty-humor and genitalia based.  A little bit of that would have been fine but I got tired of readin’ words like poo and pellet over and over again.  The plot meandered in way that was boring.  A seemingly entertaining world underlies the book but there was no depth to be had.  I gave up at 20%.  I guess ye can’t win them all.

So lastly . . .

Thank you Random House Publishing Group – Ballantine Del Ray!

Goodreads has this to say about the novel:

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.

This is not that fairy tale.

There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.

And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.

There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed.

To visit the authors’ websites go to:

Delilah S. Dawson – Author

Kevin Hearne – Author

To buy the novel please visit:

kill the farm boy – Book

To add to Goodreads go to:

Yer Ports for Plunder List