Off the Charts – the downhill lie (Carl Hiaasen)

Ahoy there me mateys!  So I discovered this author due a cat on the cover.  That book was scat and I loved it.  It was cute and funny.  When I went to look at what else he had written, I came across his non-fiction about golf.  Now to be fair, I know absolutely nothing about golf other than miniature golf.  Which people claim is hardly the same thing.  The book’s subtitle be “a hacker’s return to a ruinous sport.”  That and the blurb made me interested.  So I listened to the audiobook.

What a found was an silly adventure into one man’s relationship with the sport.  For all Mr. Hiaasen’s claim to dislike the game, only someone who loved it could subject himself to such humiliation on the course time and time again.  I absolutely loved reading about the ridiculous lengths that people (mostly men) go to in order to improve their game.  From arguments about how many dimples should be on a golf ball, to the different types of clubs, to stroke cutting pills, it be amazing what people spend money on.  I also though the sections on how wildlife in Florida has moved to the golf courses due to loss of habitat were interesting.  Mr. Hiaasen’s reflections on this and the wildlife he sees on the green were wonderful.  And at times very very funny.

The book does go into a lot of detail about specific rounds of golf.  The author kept a golf diary of every stroke.  This took up most of the second half of the book and since I have no idea how golf is scored, it did get repetitive and boring in parts.  But I did enjoy reading about the golfing misadventures and a topic about which I knew nothing.  I do now know that I will stick with putt-putt.  Arrr!

Goodreads has this to say about the novel:

Ever wonder how to retrieve a sunken golf cart from a snake-infested lake? Or which club in your bag is best suited for combat against a horde of rats? If these and other sporting questions are gnawing at you, The Downhill Lie, Carl Hiaasen’s hilarious confessional about returning to the fairways after a thirty-two-year absence, is definitely the book for you.

Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl wisely quit golfing in 1973, when “Richard Nixon was hunkered down like a meth-crazed badger in the White House, Hank Aaron was one dinger shy of Babe Ruth’s all-time home run record, and The Who had just released Quadrophenia.” But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years–and memories of shanked 7-irons–faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son–and also as a grandfather.

“What possesses a man to return in midlife to a game at which he’d never excelled in his prime, and which in fact had dealt him mostly failure, angst and exasperation? Here’s why I did it: I’m one sick bastard.”

And thus we have Carl’s foray into a world of baffling titanium technology, high-priced golf gurus, bizarre infomercial gimmicks and the mind-bending phenomenon of Tiger Woods; a maddening universe of hooks and slices where Carl ultimately–and foolishly–agrees to compete in a country-club tournament against players who can actually hit the ball. “That’s the secret of the sport’s infernal seduction,” he writes. “It surrenders just enough good shots to let you talk yourself out of quitting.”

Hiaasen’s chronicle of his shaky return to this bedeviling pastime and the ensuing demolition of his self-esteem–culminating with the savage 45-hole tournament–will have you rolling with laughter. Yet the bittersweet memories of playing with his own father and the glow he feels when watching his own young son belt the ball down the fairway will also touch your heart. Forget Tiger, Phil and Ernie. If you want to understand the true lure of golf, turn to Carl Hiaasen, who has written an extraordinary book for the ordinary hacker.

To visit the author’s website go to:

Carl Hiaasen – Author

To buy the book go to:

the downhill lie – Book

To add to Goodreads go to:

Yer Ports for Plunder List

Previous Log Entries for this Author

scat (Captain’s Log – Young Adult)

7 thoughts on “Off the Charts – the downhill lie (Carl Hiaasen)

  1. This sounds really amusing, even though I don’t play golf, don’t watch golf, and don’t understand golf. (I can understand walking around a golf course, but I personally don’t need to hit a golf ball around to be able to enjoy walking the course.) Still, it seems like a fun book!

    Liked by 1 person

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